


Archie Visits Greendale

by Lookatallmyships



Category: Community (TV), King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Archie being Archie, Crack Treated Seriously, Craig is weak in the face of cute dogs, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Greendale, Humor, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28662678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lookatallmyships/pseuds/Lookatallmyships
Summary: Archie takes a trip down to Colorado for a dog show, gets lost, and has to ask for directions.
Relationships: Archie Simmons & Dean Craig Pelton, Ben Arnold & Sammy Stevens
Kudos: 2





	Archie Visits Greendale

**Author's Note:**

> Can someone proof-read this for me? 😅

“Alright, no need to get worked up. All I’m saying, is that I don’t see what the raccoons ever did to deserve your ire” Sammy chuckles at the pursed lipped and raised eyebrowed look that Ben gives him. “ _Anyway_. We have a phone call with King Falls’s very own Deputy Troy. Until then, why don’t we turn to the hotlines?”

“Sure thing Sammy, sounds good. How about… line 4!” Ben hits the button to connect them to the line. “You’re live on King Falls AM.”

“Well howdy there, boys! What are you up to on this _fine_ morning?”

Sammy shoots Ben a look. “Line four, huh?” He mutters out of the corner of his mouth and Ben throws his hands up helplessly. “Archie, how nice to hear from you. We’re up to the same thing as always- running an AM radio show.”

Archie laughs. “Oh, you. Can’t a fella engage in some pleasantries before getting down to business? In more scenarios than one if you know what I’m saying” he adds slyly.

Ben clears his throat. “That’s-“

“I’m talkin’ bout foreplay.”

Sammy sighs. “We got that, thank you Archie. Now did you have a reason for calling in tonight?”

“Well fine, down to business it is then” he says with a practically audible eyeroll in his voice. “I was wondering if you boys could do me a favor.”

“No- absolutely not.”

“Come on Sammy, at least hear the man out. We don’t even know what he was going to ask.”

“I don’t need to hear it to know that it’s going to be something I don’t want to get involved in.”

“Well tell me how you really feel, Shotgun.” Archie sniffs in offense.

“I’m sorry about my co-host, Archie. Please tell us what the favor is.”

“I’m going out of town this weekend for a dog breeders expo, and as fortune would have it, I don’t have anyone to watch over my little bundles of joy while I’m gone.”

Sammy groans. “I am not hanging out at your house Archie-“

“Well of course not, Stevens! I just need someone to check in on them a couple times a day, take them outside, and make sure they’ve got food and what-not. It won’t be any trouble mind you- my Pomchis are little angels. Rufus too of course. You’ll even have one less bundle of joy to look after since I’ll be taking Princess von Barktooth along with me. The princess gets nervous when she’s left alone for too long.”

The two co-hosts look at each other and Ben shrugs. “I don’t mind swinging by the place before and after work. Maybe Em can go with me, you know she loves animals.”

“Oh, _thank you_ boys!” Archie cuts in over the phoneline. “I knew I could count on you. I’ll be by sometime this week to drop off the keys. Well, seein’ as you’re saving my hide, I won’t take up anymore of your time. Toodles!”

And with that, the line went dead.

Sammy sighs. “Did you seriously just agree to be Archie’s dogsitter?”

Ben shrugs. “It’s just for the weekend, what’s the worst that could happen?”

The taller man snorts in derision. “In _this_ town? It’s probably best not to think about it.”

“Fair point… We still have some time, so why don’t you pick another line?”

~

Archie pulls his rental car over to the curb with an exasperated sigh. He’d made it to Greendale with little issue, but now he was at a loss trying to find his damn hotel.

Princess von Barktooth barks.

“I hear you, princess. I feel like I’m wandering blindfolded through Sweetzer Forrest.”

He sighs again.

“Oh well, maybe we can ask someone for directions. I never did have much luck with this old GPS anyway.”

Archie grabs the princess’s leash out of the center console of his car. “Come on, you can go potty while we’re here.”

The man and his dog hop out of the car and Archie starts leading them over towards a patch of grass by some trees. After the Pomchi takes care of her business, Archie takes a moment to take in his surroundings.

He appears to have pulled over at the edge of the Greendale Community College campus according to the cement sign near the sidewalk. Walking up towards the building, Archie begins to see a bunch of young people who he assumes are students scattered about the grounds.

Before he can decide who to approach, Archie hears the clicking of heals coming from behind him.

“Excuse me” A lilting voice calls. “Non-service animals aren’t allowed on campus.”

Archie spins around to face whoever’s speaking. Coming up the paved walkway is a bald man wearing a form-fitting red cocktail dress and a pair of black ankle-length stiletto boots. To top the look off, he’s wearing a artfully blended mis of red and gold eyeshadow.

“I’m- Oh!” The man stops at the sight of Princess von Barktooth cradled in Archie’s arms. “My goodness, what a _cutie_!”

Archie laughs. “Now, don’t go giving the wrong impression- if you aren’t careful, I just might think you were talking to me.”

Eyes snapping up to meet Archie’s eyes, the man’s cheeks redden at the teasing. Despite his apparently being flustered, he raises an eyebrow and smirks. “Whose to say I wasn’t?” He looks Archie up and down for a moment before shaking himself out of his distracted state. “As much as I’m sorry to say it, we do have a rule against pets.”

“My apologies, we aren’t from around here. Princess von Barktooth and I got a bit turned around, so we figured we’d stop and ask for directions.”

“Oh! Well maybe I can help, I like to think that I’m pretty familiar with our little town by now.”

“We’d appreciate that something fierce, but I don’t want to get you in trouble for not running us out in account of the princess” He nods down at the Pomchi with a shrug.

“I’m sure I can break the rules just this once. Being the dean has to come with _some_ benefits from time to time. Listen to me rambling on without introducing myself. Dean Craig Pelton at your service.”

Archie grins. “Archie Simmons. Well Mr. dean, I don’t suppose you know where- heck I have the name of the hotel written down somewhere.”

After some fishing around in the pockets of his skinny jeans and an apology to the princess for jostling her around, Archie manages to produce a slip of paper with the name of his hotel. He’d have been happy to stay in any old hotel, but this one was the closest to the building where the breeder’s expo was being held which also allows dogs.

Craig happily gives Archie directions, expertly balancing in his high-heeled boots as he gesticulates.

Color Archie thoroughly impressed. He’s tried wearing heals a time of two in the past, but he looked too much like a sailor who hadn’t yet gotten his sea legs to pull off the look.

“After that, you’ll see it come up on your right. You can’t miss it.”

“I appreciate the help Craig, don’t know what we would have done without you” Archie says. If he’s laying on the charm a bit, then sue him. “I’ll be in town for a few days. If you aren’t busy, I’d love to buy you a drink as a thank you for helping us out.”

Surprise flits across the dean’s face and he smiles. “I’d like that.”

They exchange numbers with the promise to firm up the detail later, and Archie can’t help but wonder if the man always dressed like this, or if today was a special occasion. He gets the feeling that the dean could pull off any look he tried.

As Archie pulls his car away from the curb, he sighs. “Oh, hell. Now I’m going to have to buy that Benny Arnold a fruit basket.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was born from the thought that Archie and the dean in the same place would be too much for the world to handle. What if Craig went to King Falls instead? Can you imagine Sammy having to face the full weight of them combined?


End file.
